Servus! This week’s virtual vacation takes us to Austria, home of Mozart and the Sound of Music, the Viennese Waltz and the world’s largest ice cave…
We probably won’t manage to climb every mountain or indeed ford every stream, but we can stand at the top of Austria’s highest mountain, Grossglockner (3798m high) and go for a run alongside the Danube River, which is pretty good going in a single day! Just click on the links in the text to follow in my virtual footsteps…
Flying over Vienna gives us great views of the city and allows us to get the lie of the land before catching the train to the Innere Stadt where we find our 5* hotel, the Hotel Grand Ferdinand Vienna, conveniently located for the sights I’ve got planned to see. It soon becomes clear though that, although similar to us in many ways, there are a few cultural differences between us and our Austrian counterparts. For one thing, it’s a Catholic country, so in some ways, they’re a lot more formal and conservative than we are, especially the older generation, but there are inconsistencies as with any country. For example, showing too much flesh in public is a real no-no, unless you’re by the lakes or in a spa, where all-out nudity is the norm.
We get a deeper insight into Austrian sensitivities when,we pick up a copy of Österreich, the Austrian newspaper,, to discover that a man in Vienna has been fined 500 Euros for “offending public decency” by breaking wind loudly in front of police. Police had written on Twitter that the man “let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent…and our colleagues don’t like to be farted at so much.” Apparently, though, it was the deliberate nature of the act that incurred the fine and accidental flatulence is perfectly acceptable, otherwise lactose intolerance would be a costly affliction in the land of cream, cheese and chocolate!
Our wonderful day in Vienna, looks set to be chock-full of art and music interspersed with artery-clogging tasty treats, so let’s make a start. For breakfast, warm croissants fresh from the oven with apricot jam and butter come served with a bowl of scrambled eggs, accompanied by the soundtrack to the Sound of Music.
Next, we set off on an arts treasure trail in search of Gustav Klimt’s masterpieces. The trail takes us first to the MAK (museum of applied arts) where among other works we find Fulfilment, a picture of lovers embracing, and an animated version of the Magic Garden, which is truly beautiful. At the Leopold Museum we discover Death and Life along with many of Klimt’s other works. Next, is the magnificent Stairway to Klimt at the Kunsthistorisches Museum Vienna. And finally, our trail culminates in a tour of The Belvedere…
…which leads us to a tantalising peek through the door at Klimt’s most famous piece, The Kiss. To get up close and personal with the painting, we have to speak nicely to the curator who lets us see it in glorious detail and gives us the full lowdown (in German, of course).
After that glut of art it’s time for a different kind of sustenance now. Lunch consists of delicious warm rolls with lashings of butter, a selection of pork-based meats and Austrian smoked cheese. For a change of pace, I’m listening to Austrian metal band, Dragony, a) because I like dragons, b) because I like heavy metal and c) because they are Austrian, but I understand if you’d like to listen to something different.
Already starting to feel the calories, it’s time to be on the move again. Vienna has many more palaces and castles to explore. Let’s start with a tour of the Hofburg Palace which, among other things, is the residence of current President, Alexander van der Bellen, who lives in the Leopoldine Wing. Back in the day, both the Hofburg and Schönbrunn Palace were former homes of one of the most powerful and influential royal families in Europe – the Habsburgs.
So let’s head to their other residence next for a tour of Schönbrunn Palace. Look out for the Bergl Rooms, painted to look like a garden indoors for one of the family, Maria Theresa, who couldn’t go outside because of the heat and which took nearly a decade to complete. Let’s go inside…
Also not to be missed at Schönbrunn is the Strudel Show. I just love the idea of this so much that we have to take a peek. The chef delivers a fast-paced commentary on his strudel-making demonstration in both German and English, the highlight of which is a death-defying pastry toss! Now, did somebody mention cake?
At 3pm on the dot (Austrians are big on punctuality) we stop off at Café Central, once frequented by such personalities as Sigmund Freud and Leon Trotsky, for the Austrian equivalent of afternoon tea. Not to be rushed, the time-honoured tradition of Kaffee und Kuchen in a 19th century coffee house is one I could definitely get used to.The coffee is served with a small glass of water on the side and the cake of your choice, in my case the Viennese favourite, Sachertorte, with lashings of Schlagobers (whipped cream), and dollops of cultured conversation. The Sachertorte was first invented back in the early part of the 19th Century. One day, the sweet-toothed Austrian State Chancellor, Prince Clemens Lothar Wensel Metternich of Austria (try saying that with a mouthful of Sachertorte!) ordered the chef to come up with a new recipe. This caused quite a panic, as on that particular day the head chef was off sick and no one had any idea what to do. Suddenly, one of the apprentice cooks, a bold youth with a creative flair, stepped forward and set to work with the ingredients he had to hand. Luckily, the combination of chocolate cake and apricot jam was a hit and the cake has been a Viennese speciality ever since!
Now, there are several ways to see the city’s sights but after all that cake we’re not up to anything too strenuous, so how about a lovely horse and carriage ride around the city. I hope you’re not allergic to horses!
No trip to Vienna would be complete without a little dancing, so find yourself a partner because we’re heading off now to the Rueff Dance School for a crash course in the Viennese Waltz, (hopefully not in the literal sense!). It’s hard to believe but this elegant, ballroom classic was once referred to as the forbidden dance because of all that close contact and dizzying whirling about the floor but that was way back in the 13th century and well before Strictly came on the scene, so I think it’ll be okay.
Feeling ready for a ball at the State Opera House? How about we just take a look around instead with this sneaky tour behind the scenes.
Now back to the palace in time for a little musical interlude with this rendition by Andre Rieu of Strauss’s Beautiful Blue Danube, surrounded by dashing waltzing couples. The palace makes a stunning backdrop and now we can see how that dance is really done.
Not before time, it’s time for tea and a taste of the Wiener Schnitzel, usually made with veal or pork and served with a warm potato salad and a squirt of lemon (in my case the closest equivalent is a chicken escalope with lemon and chips but bear with me) washed down with an authentic cold Weissbier!
Happy and replete we can sit back and enjoy another classical delight – Vienna is The City of Music after all – Mozart’s Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, played at the Wiener Musikverein by the Wiener Philarmoniker. It brings back memories of playing the piece in the orchestra as a child, probably badly but enjoying it all the same! If you’ve had enough of classical music by now though check out these rather different Austrian classics – Remember Rock Me Amadeus and Vienna Calling by Falco? Also, don’t miss out on Macho Macho by Rainhard Fendrich, which begins with the immortal lines – ‘Er hat einen Hintern wie Apollo’ (‘he has a butt like Apollo’!)
For our last stop in Vienna, we take a walk up the red carpeted staircase of the Burgtheater with its elaborately painted ceilings and make our way to the auditorium, where we can step onto the stage for an actor’s eye view of the red and gold theatre. I can just picture all the expectant faces looking back at me until I get a sudden attack of stage-fright. Time to take our seats and settle down for Amadeus. Bravo!
As we exit the theatre, we realise it’s very late and it’s been a long day so for now I shall say Servus! But join me again for part 2 when I’ll be whisking you away to the picturesque Alps. Discover the Golden Roof and the stairway to nothingness and ride a funicular to a zoo on top of a mountain. Explore inside an ice cave, watch marionettes performing Mozart and get soaked by water-squirting statues at Helbrunn Palace…
